Oct 2008

I was talking about the normal guys before, saying that they were not that different from us in fact. Well, you were right while thinking “those frenchies are not like us at all.” That’s true, no matter how hard we try to integrate ourselves into French or American culture, we are different and will always be “an American in France” or “a French in America”. I believe there is nothing we can do about it; it’s probably something genetic…

Here are the first differences that we noticed:

- Americans wear undershirts. Even in the middle of the summer. Even if the color of the T-shirt doesn’t match the shirt’s one.

- Americans wear flip-flops. Even if it’s raining. Even if you decided to dressed up and wear a tie. Even if you want to party and go to a club. You keep your flip-flops on.
Can I say something? In France, just don’t. Never, ever. No one will let you come into a club like this. And no one will actually consider what you say if you are wearing those bloody flip-flops. (Love saying bloody, sounds very British to me… I’m feeling like Queen Elizabeth while saying it.) If you’re on the beach, Ok. Otherwise, no. Flip-flops are “cheap”. Do not wear them in the city.

- Americans are louder than we are. That’s a fact. But that’s ok. And to tell the truth, it helps us understanding what you say. So keep being loud, please.

- Americans believe all French people cook like professional chefs. We don’t. Try my brother’s cooking if you still have some doubts…

- Americans eat with their left hand on their knees. And apparently, most of you have forgotten what the knife stands for. Even if “Bonnes manières” is difficult to say, try to remember this if you don’t want to be killed by your host or the restaurant owner: left hand on the table (not the elbows) and cut the food with your knife, not your fork.

- Some Americans can drink wine directly from the bottle without any remorse. If you don’t want the all French nation to kill you: Don’t.

- Americans say “pardon my French”. But you are the ones saying fuck every two words. We don’t even have such a word!
(But we do have “merde”, “putain”, “enculé”, “fils de pute”, “enfoiré”, “connard, “salaud”, “fait chier”, “bordel de merde”, “va te faire foutre”, “poufiasse »…, that’s right)

- Americans say « French fries”, we say « fries ». You say “French bread” or “French toast”,we call this “lost bread”. You say “French puddle”, we say “puddle”. You say “French kiss”, we say “kiss”. You say “American breakfast”…
…. we say “English breakfast”.

- Some American states have banned Foie-gras.
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???

I am counting on you guys to leave some “French people do…” comments. Yes, this is the end of my first article, it’s late and I need to eat something. I want to go to Mc Donald’s before it closes. Oh, and I almost forgot:

- Americans say “Quarter Pound Burger”, we say “Royal Cheese”,
Because we have no idea of what the fuck is a pound!
(Pardon my French…)

See you soon,
Marie

Well, starting a new blog, in English this time.
Yes, because I’m French, and I’m already telling my “Atlantis Program experience” in a French blog. But as several American students started a blog, telling their experiences and what is different, funny, weird, horrible in France or with French people, I realized I had to respond to this and give my opinion on American people and American habits.
(By the way, you will notice that none of them reported any “horrible” thing about France. Just saying…)
But it’s not fun if I do it in French, because the all point is to have some US readers. And as French is just impossible to learn (I’m glad it’s my native language, because I wouldn’t be able to speak French otherwise!), no one speaks French in America so I have to write one in English too.

Anyway, here starts my guide for you reader, to understand the froggies, or, for the bravest ones, to prepare your trip to Snail Land.
I’m Marie (Yes, you're right, you didn't pronounced it correctly), and here comes the “How to survive in the French jungle, indispensable book for American citizens coming to garlic snails homeland”.
Even if Vince started to list some differences, I would like to give you our opinion on it, so that you have a balanced overview of what is life in France.

For those who don’t know, I’m one of the French students who’s is doing the Atlantis program, a two years exchange between French, Swedish and American schools. I’m rooming with Sandrine, one of the best crêpes makers I know (I’ll talk about this later, and if you behave well, I may even give you the recipe of what is “a little French piece of heaven”…) and who is also doing this program.

Ready to start? Ok, so put your own ego and stereotypes aside and remember: a little bit of humor might help…

First of all, I have to say that we were secretly expecting for a group of really, really loud guys, wearing Santiags, Stetsons and chewing gum. Or at least Hawaiian shirts and a big Nikon camera around the neck.
But we were very disappointed.
No, they were just normal people (like us), wearing jeans (just like us), Converse or Nike shoes (once again, like us) and T-shirts (guess what, like all of us!).
One tiny detail though: we didn’t understand a single word of what they were talking about! Or at least during the first ½ hour, once we got used to the strong-swallowed-Yankee accent, it was much better.

Then came the “say hello” part. And here comes the funny part. First cultural clash. Ok, maybe not really a clash, but we learned something, and learned it fast: American and French people don’t say hello in the same way, not at all…
You hug, we kiss.
Sandrine and I first welcomed the 4 Western Illinois University guys. We said hello and kissed them on both cheeks. Logical no? No?
Oh, maybe that’s why they were looking at us in a funny way after it.

Alright, first lesson: in France, we do kiss people on the left cheek, then the right one, to say good morning. Or the other way around. But try to make sure you’re synchronized with the person in front of you to avoid any unwished accidents. Maybe that’s how all this French kiss thing started, who knows…

Anyway, people “double kiss” friends, relatives, family (Same as relatives no? I’m not sure anymore of what a relative is, friend or family… Let’s put both, just in case). We don’t kiss strangers, business partners, older people that we don’t know (young people do kiss even if we don’t really know each other). If the person in front of you doesn’t belong to any of the previously stated category, you shake hands. I assume you know how to shake hands…
And men don’t kiss men, they shake hands. You can kiss a man if he is from your family or a very, very good friend. In this case, it’s not considered as “gay” at all. Otherwise, yes.

If you want to do it the American way, you can. Just warn people, or do start your hug slowly, so that they don’t think you want to strangle them. Especially if the “they” we are talking about is a girl, and a small one.
She will flip out. A lot.
This is what happened to Cécile, the third French girl, when Keith first hugged her. She was standing there, her feet not touching the floor anymore, and giving us this “I NEED SOME HELP HERE!!” look.

That’s your first lesson of the day. And to all the boys coming to France, when a girl kisses you even if she doesn’t know you: it’s not you, it’s cultural….

PS: if a panic feeling overwhelms you when “hello time” approaches, you’re not really sure which category the person in front of you belongs to, and you begin to really hate this stupid custom and wish you never came here, keep cool and …
… just shake hands.